Hey, smart phone manufacturers, how about you just STFU!

Updated: Sep 11, 2019

Ever since the first iPhone came out every smart phone manufacturer on the planet has rushed to mimic the featureless shiny flat glass look.

Some tried to be different for a while but in the end they all seem to have just given up, rolled over and resigned themselves to making shiny flat featureless rectangles...

...and it is so fricken boring!!!!

Because I work in IT I get a lot of IT related emails and newsletters etc.

I can say, almost without exception, that every day a "new phone" is announced.

I can say without exception that pretty every new phone looks exactly like every other new phone.

It is beyond tedious. It is beyond boring. It is beyond being even slightly interesting...but these announcements keep coming like these jokers have revolutionized something.

But they haven't. They've really done BUGGER ALL. Even Apple just keeps releasing the same thing. I mean, they invented it and they seem to be leading the way, so why change right?

Because it is boring Apple, that is why. It is SOOOOOO BORING!!!

At least stop announcing this crap like it is something to care about.

Right now, for reasons I can't fathom, a lot of "new" phones are proudly announcing how many cameras they have. Seriously. We are up to about 4 or 5 cameras...all facing the same direction.

What's that all about?

Here's the next Google Pixel phone. Rumours, rumours, speculation, release date...who gives a shit?

Here's the iPhone 11. It looks exactly like every other iPhone ever except that it has, you guessed it, more fricken cameras...

For a while these smart phone rumor mongering idiots were banging on about fold-able phones...like that was ever a good idea.

Don't stress, those idiot things haven't gone away. There's still someone trying to make a fold-able...or roll-able..or flexible mobile phone somewhere.

Is this endeavour all just about catering for clumsy people?
No, I don't want to be careful

How about a watch...I mean phone... that looks like a bad idea from the original Battlestar Gallactica series?

At least this stupid thing looks a bit different. I could almost get on board...

Circular and stupid. Yay!

Or was that Buck Rogers? Who cares?

Bidi bidi bidi...get your hand off my bum Buck

The Samsung Galaxy Fold was supposed to be here, but it broke already. They aren't sure when it will be fixed and when it will be back.

It does make me wonder what it will take for tech companies to admit that an idea is just bad and unnecessary?

Yeah, it didn't take long for this break.
Fatigue point anyone?

I am even boring myself with these phones and the stupidity of these so-called "innovations".

The message here is, that if you make smart phones, just shut up until you have something different, actually interesting and NOT stupid to show us.

I think I speak on behalf of humanity when I say we are all number to your featureless glass rectangles and you poorly considered options for the future.

I'd like to tell them to stick their phones up their arse. But if they could actually do that they may actually have something interesting to show us...

...Patent Pending; the insertable cylinder phone. You're welcome ;-)


P.S. Damn it!!!

It has your proctologist on speed dial.
Of course! What was I thinking? It has your proctologist on speed dial.

P.P.S. OMG! And still they come. These showed up the day I wrote this article.

I know it isn't going to stop. I just wanted to show you I'm not completely insane...

P.P.P.S 4/9/19 - day 1 million of groundhog day. Wow, these phones are all so "unique"...

P.P.P.P.S Wow...yawn....


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